Friday, October 21, 2005

Baby, I'm a Star!




Random Friday musings...

What pact has Jon Bon Jovi made with the devil to look as good as he does? I was watching random mindless daytime TV yesterday (because I can, because I'm unemployed), and I saw a commercial for Cingular, I think. Had Bon Jovi in concert, and the man was wearing some skintight leather pants that made me sit up among the bonbon wrappers and take some notice! He looks every bit as good now as he did in the big hair 80s. When his dad did his hair! (Would your dad do your hair? Would you let your dad within 50 feet of your hair with scissors and a blowdryer?) Not that I'm a big obsessive Bon Jovi fan, but I appreciates me a nice piece o' manflesh when I sees one. Why don't I look as good and I'm even younger than he is (not by much, but technically it counts as younger)? Probably for the same reason that my mom and Tina Turner look nothing alike even though they are the same age, and my mother is a short white woman. Pacts with the devil, I tell ya!!

From the Rabid Sense of Entitlement Department: Why in the hell does Star Jones think she needs another wedding extravaganza? Because she lost weight and wants better pictures! Not just a little vow renewal, either...a complete soup-to-nuts wedding explosion is on the way. And, she's going to take a whole year to plan it, shooting for a date in November 2006...personally, I think that's enough time for her to gain all her weight back and then some. And, have you noticed that she looks like an alien...one of those grey men, Whitley Streiber, card carrying X-Files sorts of aliens? Her eyes are pointy...how do you get pointy eyes!! She looks hungry...she will eat your head, she will!

I did get karma points today by chasing down two lost dogs who were roaming around in my neighbor's backyard. The poodle horde that lives with me spotted them first, went apeshit, and scared them away. We live on an extremely busy rural road that people fly down, so I grabbed some leashes and went off to chase them and see if they had collars. Lucky for them, I did catch them before they got pancaked, and they had an owner with a brain who had tagged them with her address and phone number. That should offset some of the snarky comments I made about Star, shouldn't it?

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