Saturday, December 10, 2005

Financial Aid Time Warp

Now I'm working on the forms to get financial aid...not holding out a lot of hope on this, because it's all based on our 2004 income tax know, last year...when we had money. It's really sucking to go from DINK to dinky bank balance, and I thought I was handling it okay, until I had to drag out the tax return to fill out the financial aid forms.

Not that we were rolling in it or anything, but we were humming along quite nicely. Almost had all the credit card bills paid off, leaving us a house payment and 1 car payment, so we really could think about doing Hawaii or Italy. Now, it seems like the closest we'll get to Hawaii is a bag of macadamia nuts. Thank goodness for Mauna Loa.

I know I sound whiney, and I'm really trying to suck it up and soldier on, but dammit, I really did not expect to be one of the unemployed. I was always the team player. I always put forth extra effort and went above and beyond my salary to get the job done, and this was how I got rewarded. I know tons of people raise entire families on less than what the Man makes, etc., etc., but I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about me, want to talk about I, number 1 to paraphrase Toby Keith a bit.

When you get laid off, everyone is all shocked and upset for you, but the longer you go without work, the less they want to talk to you about it. I don't want to be known as the whiner who can't find a job, which is what it sounds like I'm becoming. I just want to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way...that other people have been as hurt and emotionally crushed by losing their job. Misery loves company or at least loves knowing that it hit someone else the exact same way. And that's the part that's been getting to me--the dismissal of my feelings about being YOU.

Okay, whining off. I really hate it when I do that, because I can never do it properly. Part of me always pipes up and says "you look and sound really ridiculous, so how about knocking it off." My inner demon offers "cheese with that Whine" when he's had enough.

The upside is that every single person (with the exception of My Mother of course!) has been excited about my decision to go back to school and become a personal chef. So, I here I am, filling out the Stafford Promissary note and wondering if I can get any money at all. Maybe I should go see the new "Fun With Dick & Jane" movie to get pointers for financing my education?

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