Friday, August 04, 2006

The Birthday at the End of the Universe

If you can figure out that literary reference, then you know how old I am today. (Not that this is a shameless plug for birthday, not me!)

So, today was my birthday. Some chicks from culinary school came over, and we grilled out meat and I made a new potato salad that I snagged off the Rachael Ray Magazine website. It's called Deviled Potato Salad, and has no mayo, which means The Man may eat it. He despises anything with mayonnaise.

Speaking of mayonnaise, the new issue of RR's mag has this backpage interview with Diane Sawyer by RR. The premise is what you find in a celebrity's refrigerator. Rachael points out that Diane has Miracle Whip, and Diane responds along these lines, "Yes, Miracle Whip. No mayonnaise. I'm a Southern girl."

Jaw, meet floor. What the hell kind of Southern girl is she that she doesn't have mayonnaise?? (Standard Disclaimer here: I am no way knocking Miracle Whip. While I personally don't care for the sandwich spread from Hell, I understand that it has its devotees, some of which may be friends...I think.) Diane is from Kentucky, for goodness sakes! She should know that we all have mayonnaise in our fridges...and it's all Hellman's. That's the official mayo of the South. No Blue Plate, no Dukes, no Bama, and for the love of poodles, no STORE BRANDS!

If you look in any genteel Southern ladies-type cookbook...local historical societies, Junior League-type organizations...any chicken salad recipe worth it's weight in crustless finger sandwiches calls for mayonnaise, and most of them call Hellman's by name in the goldarn recipe.

I think we can dismiss Diane's opinion on anything once and for all after you take a look at the sidebar quote pulled out in big ol' type: "My entire cooking expertise is based on what I can put jalapeno on." (We won't even discuss the fact that she ended a sentence with a preposition.)

Anyway, back to my birthday. In addition to the beef and stuff, the Cutest Chiclet brought over a gallon jug of homemade mojitos. We spent a leisurely afternoon floating around the pool, munching, drinking, and girl talking. I have a nice little burn going on my back (nothing serious--I do try to sunblock as much as possible, but I am pretty damn white, so it doesn't take long or much sun to get pink), and I'm hoping it turns tan. People always seem suprised I have a pool, because I never really work on a tan. And that's because I only get in it about 4:30 in the afternoon, after the shade comes back, and float in the shade and read.

Which is exactly what I did after they left. Drift and read, read and drift, drink more mojitos. All in all, not a bad way to spend a birthday.


Kim said...

Happy birthday to you!! No, I can't think of the literary reference so you secret is safe with me:o)

Miracle Whip, blehh!! Has to be real Mayo and Hellman's is very good at Mayo.

I hope you don't turn too red. I am pretty white too and have to watch myself in the sun.

Anonymous said...

A Belated, but heartfelt, Happy Birthday! May you have many tasty, healthy, happy, and prosperous returns!

Laughing Wolf, who knows the reference *G*

Linna said...

Happy real birthday!

Miracle Whip is a Midwestern thing. Maybe Dianne's family was transplanted from somewhere west of Kentucky.

Personally, I didn't know Hellman's existed until I got to college. I've always been a Miracle Whip girl. I use real mayo in many recipes, but it's MW for my sammiches.

jessie said...

I was curious about Hellmann's, so I looked it up--can you say "New York City?" Say it ain't so...

It is the best, no doubt. Here are the web sites of the others that were mentioned.

I don't think I've ever had Duke's.