Tiny Trees...and some wine

Not enough wine, but some wine.

Volunteer catering gig went pretty well Friday evening. People were very complimentary about the food and the set up, and that's what makes it worthwhile...well, no, I'm lying about that. Money makes it worthwhile, but since this was a volunteer gig, accolades and high praise will have to do.

The concept for our event was a Festival of (Tiny) Trees and Wreaths, wherein we solicited donations from local business and civic-type groups, as well as any individual who wanted to donate a fully decorated tree or wreath for a silent auction, and the money would go for books at the local library. It really is a good cause, and we did it last year and made quite a bit of moola for books.

In keeping with (what we hope is) the tradition but bearing in mind that people may not want to buy a full-size tree, we tacked the "tiny" part on for this year. We requested trees that were between 2-4 feet, but wreaths could be any size. We got some very creative entries this year, and our group did a Chronicles of Narnia-themed tree...we were trying to follow up on our success from last year with a Harry Potter-themed tree that went for $175 at the auction, but there aren't any damned Narnia ornaments out there. How can this be?

The only "official" Narnia ornament is this one from Hallmark of Lucy coming through the wardrobe. It's a cool, 2-sided ornament, but it way hard to build a tree out of a single ornament. So, off to the Disney store we go, and we co-opted a couple of action figure sets to make our tree. (Stupid me forgot camera tonight, so I don't have a picture to post yet...I know someone took pix (KB, that would be your child!), so I can post one later.)

I wired a large action figure of the White Witch to the front, and it sort of took off from there. (Yes, I know she's the bad guy in this tale, but she was just too perfect as a large ornament. Besides, why do you think there's a "Disney Villains" collection? It's for people like me who admire the evil that 'toons do! )

I can post some pix of last year's Harry Potter tree instead, because I am really, really, really pleased with the way it turned out. Of course, I can't focus the camera worth a crap, but you can get the general idea.

See the giant Snitch out in front? I made that. Yes, me. And I'll share the secret with you! I found this cool styrofoam ornament that had all sorts of gold beads, glitter, and a general covering o' shiny stuff. Next, you get a large white dove (not a real one, of course!), or if you can find just a set of wings in your local crapt store (Hobby Lobby, Michael's, etc), get the biggest ones you can find. The ones from the dove just sort of pulled out and had these lovely wire posts that I just drove down into either side of the gold ball. Viola! Instant Snitch!

We were lucky that Target had 2 official HP ornaments last year--Harry on his broom and the Hogwarts Express engine--which really got us going. I found a double-decker bus to sub for the Knight Bus, a Crookshanks-style cat, some brooms, and a bunch of tiny wire rim glasses (in the Doll section at the crapt store) that we painted black. I can't remember all the ornaments--there was an beautiful white owl for Hedwig. Some little black cauldrons left from Halloween and wands made from cinnamon sticks and glitter were added as well. I think the piece d' resistance (besides my Snitch) was using a large Halloween witch's cauldron for the base...that made it rock.

It was a very hard tree to give up, especially while it lived on my coffee table for a week or so. I kept repeating "it's for a good cause; it's for a good cause."

The Man has come down with some sort of 24-48 bug that is beginning to transfer itself to me...oh, joy. This is going to make getting up at 5:30 in the morning so much fun. We have to be at school at 7 am for our finals (that's everyone in the whole culinary program), and after we finish our respective tests, we get to clean the kitchen. My absolute favorite thing in the whole wide world (is the sarcasm coming through loud and clear?).

I'm taking the weary body to bed in hopes that I can remember everything I need to about eggs, cheese, and gelatin strengths. Wish me well!

One More Day...

Today was probably the most low-key day we've had in the last 3 quarters. We had no projects of our own, no practicals, just one little test on cheese and some prep work for Chef Pantry and Chef Banquet.

I diced up 2 22-quart containers full of peeled potatoes; they were destined for some sort of mashed potato dish. We trimmed green beans, bagged up bulk pasta, and made some hors-d'oeuvres (last time!!) for a wine seminar/tasting. See, low key.

Chef gave us back our egg projects, and he liked my little 50 ways song. I know he thinks I'm weird, but whatever!

We actually got out of class early today (I know, I was shocked, too), so I had time to go shopping for this volunteer gig that I'm catering on Friday. I'm not actually doing a lot in the way of making things; it's more of a "Costco catering" gig. I'm kind of torn about that, because I have been in culinary school for the last 1o+ months, so I should be able to do something exciting along the catering lines, but I just don't have the time or the energy. I'm just drained lately, and it's hard to muster up the enthusiasm and energy to construct tiny little yummy things, especially since I have no time. While I'm not doing it for money--that "volunteer" word is the big clue--I'm not going to do total crap, either...I have a plan.

It's all in the presentation, baby! And, there's nothing wrong with using quality pre-made products ("quality" being the operative word here), according to Chef Pantry, to supplement your offerings. It goes back to labor costs, both time and money, and ingredients. Yeah, I could make the black olive tapenade that you get at Costco, but it would probably cost me way more in ingredients, not to mention the time it would take to round up olives, etc. and process them, than the $6.95 for the large tub. And, have you tasted that olive tapenade stuff you can get at Costco? It's really good...just ask my ankles when I overindulge in it and make them swell. (It really is hell getting old.)

I'm going to blanch some young whole green beans for the vegetable tray to make it a little different, and make a nice dip for it (bah to the bland and boring ranch dressing!) and other dips for fruit, etc., so it's not like everything will be out of a plastic bag or container. (Do you like this defensive pose I am striking??)

My basic menu for the evening is a veggie tray with dip, assorted cheese platter with crackers and grapes, mini quiches (spinach and Lorraine), spinach dip with pita chips, strawberries and pineapple with Coco-Lopez dip, olive tapenade with crackers, and assorted sweets...the rest of my volunteer group are responsible for bringing some sort of bite-size dessert offering.

I think I have all the basic cocktail requirements covered: sweet, salty, vegetarian...

From the "Now They've Really Taken the Safety Off" Department, I bring you this:



Yes, boys and girls, it really is Ready-to-Eat Cheesecake Filling!

It stopped me dead in my tracks at the Publix last night as I was browsing the cream cheese selection. I had visions of rescue personnel breaking down doors to find people stuck on their couches, empty tubs of cheesecake filling littering the floor, with sobbing family members on the lawn, staging an intervention, and the prying of the spoon from my fat little fingers...which probably wouldn't be so little any more. This might replace tubes of frozen cookie dough as the new pink or whatever you call cookie dough--comfort food? Comfort gooey substance is more like it.

The ad copy reads: "One Step to Dessert Heaven" (wonder if that's via cardiac arrest?). The directions tell you spread it into a 9-inch graham cracker crust, slice, and serve. It also exhorts you to "personalize" your cheesecake by "stirring in mix-ins like Baker's chocolate, Oreo cookie crumbles, and fresh fruit" (look--healthy stuff!) directly into the tub before spreading in the crust. (Ha! who needs a crust? We don't need no stinkin' crust!)

Unfortunately for you, gentle readers, I resisted the siren's call and walked away from it. I don't know if it's the best thing since sex or not, but I just couldn't bring myself to buy it. (Remember the vision of rescue personnel?) But, the lure is still there...it's probably just a matter of time.

Time...yeah, I need time, lots of time...time to really savor a tub of cheesecake filling.

Cheesecake....mmm...


(Yes, I know this is a famous and beautiful painting by John William Waterhouse, and I probably shouldn't have co-opted such a lovely piece of art, but it's all about illustrating the concept! And cheesecake!)