Friday, January 27, 2006

Bye, Bye Baby!

Got so caught up in the Magnum/Tom Selleck love fest that I forgot to update about Merlot. I think she might actually be gone for good. Too bad, because she has provided some entertaining moments for all my classmates.

On Monday, she left class twice and stayed gone forever. Tuesday, she didn't bother to even show up and therefore missed all the instructions about what to have prepared for class on Wednesday, which included a homework assignment that Chef passed out before we left. We all figured she was a goner since she didn't show. Plus, she missed our exciting introduction to the school kitchen...we got to wash dishes from Chef's gig the night before. I'm quite sure she would have had much to say (i.e, bitch) about being a scullery maid for 30 minutes.

Wednesday, she strolls in about 5 minutes late; luckily for her, Chef was later by another 5 minutes. Chef mentions that during this week of classes, Fine Technical College adminstration wants us all to be reminded of the rules and regulations while in class. I think this is a clever way for her to reinforce some things that people should/shouldn't be doing that oughta be common sense by now. We're not supposed to eat or drink in class, although Chef will let us slide on the drinking part since we get up sooo damn early and none of us can function without some sort of caffeine injection. She reiterates that yes, class is long, but she does give breaks, therefore you should not leave the class room during class, only during the breaks. I'm sure if it was an absolute emergency, she would understand, so we all figure that this has taken care of Merlot's hopping up and down. Ha.

We take our quiz, which was fairly long, and as soon as she finishes, Merlot is up and is out the door. We all look at Chef, who whips out the door right after her. Ooh, we think this is going to get good...alas, no big fireworks that we could see or hear. Chef comes back without Merlot, who doesn't come back until class is almost over. She waltzes in with a pink piece of paper in hand, grabs her stuff and sails on out. Chef doesn't even glance her way. We all exchange knowing looks...we're running our own personal betting pools that she won't be coming back, that she dropped the class.

It's probably better for the class organism as a whole that she leaves, because I think we were all sort of antsy with her around, because she seemed pretty volatile. We were probably building up to a whole Lord of the Flies moment with her that might have gotten really ugly if we were in a lab that involved knives. I can just see us all now, circling and chanting, creme brulee torches spitting fire, once white uniforms covered with flour and meat juices, our faces painted with vegetable coulis, baring our teeth and snarling at her to get in line and get with the program or we'll get with the program for her. The reason I think this little fantasy might have roots in reality is that when Head Chef popped his head in while our Chef was explaining about line up, which is a check to make sure we are in proper uniform, etc., he mentioned that in HIS class, if one person got points off for improper uniform, WE all got points off.

Don't despair, Gentle Reader. Even if we have no more Merlot, we picked up another person for the sanitation/safety portion of the quarter that should keep us perfecting the fine art of rolling our eyes to the back of our heads. When she introduced herself to us on the 2nd day of class (because she forgot class started on Monday), she mentioned that she had taken this class 3 times before...okay, this is SAFETY and freakin' hard can it be?? And, if it takes you 3 tries to pass the class, do I really want YOU preparing food for me? I'm amazed, I am. More as this new train wreck progresses...

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