Wednesday, January 25, 2006


Some days in Paradise...

Okay, one of the absolute best things about going back to school is being able to watch cheesy 80s TV shows in the afternoon while studying. And my absolute favorite lately has been Magnum PI. Ahh, Thomas Sullivan Magnum, you are hotness incarnate! I remember watching you the first time around and appreciating what a fine piece of eye candy you are and still are...ol' Tom Selleck has really held up...unlike some of the rest of us who are drooping in some odd places.

(Who cares if today's episode centers on some stupid dolphin kidnapping scheme. WE got to see Magnum in the water with no shirt! That gives it an extra dollop of goodness.)

While appreciating the yumminess that is Magnum this afternoon, I got to thinking (probably way too much) about how he's got the perfect lifestyle. He lives in a great could it get better than Hawaii and rent free to boot? And the accessories: a fast hot car and a fussy old butler-type to maintain the place and get him out of jail if necessary. His buddy TC owns a helicopter if he needs to get somewhere in a hurry, and Rick's always available if you need to kick someone around. (Sorry about that Rick!)

And a rockin' theme song! I know I would be a much happier person if I had my own personal theme song. Some days, I think it should be the theme from The Sopranos..."woke up this morning, got myself a gun" is apt at times and in some situations (especially if I have to deal with my family). Some days, it's just primal screaming. If I were on a TV show, that would be the one thing I'd have written in my contract--"character portrayed must be endowed with a rockin' theme song"--not to mention that the credits would mostly be of me in a series of hot and tiny outfits kicking some bad guy ass, because if I had occasion to have a TV show, much less a theme song, I would be looking a whole lot hotter than this current self fo' shizzle. And be able to do roundhouse kicks in a miniskirt and inner slut at her best.

Along with this current daydream of me and Thomas Magnum rolling around on a secluded beach feeding each other mangoes, etc., I had this dream the night before about having hot monkey sex with Doogie Howser. Well, it wasn't exactly Doogie, but Neil Patrick Harris in his adult incarnation (thank god!), of which he's looking pretty good as of late. It was truly the weirdest damn dream, because I have no earthly idea as to why I would be swinging from chandeliers with NPH, but it was grrreat fun...grrreat fun! (Don't even try to dwell on *why* I or my idiot subconscious mind was even thinking about NPH...I have no idea, and my subconscious has taken the 5th. At least, for my sanity's sake, it wasn't the younger Doogie version of NPH. Way too Mary Kay Letorneau for me.)

Mango eating and hot monkey sex are all well and good, but let's be a mite more how nice it would be if my subconscious dream mind could be a bit more productive and have me dream of winning lottery numbers. Then, I could go to Hawaii with the entire box set of Magnum, get a case of mangoes, and have a blast!

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