My Day Off

Here's how my day went:

4:00 am - The New Hotness decides that he must go out, noW! I stumble out of bed and let him out. He promptly goes over to the edge of the pool, sits down, and contemplates his navel or his reflection or something. Idjit dog! I peck on the glass door and yell at him to "go outside before I decide to spit roast you." At that pronouncement, he decides that it might be a good idea to at least trot around the corner of the house and pretend to do something important. Once again, it just goes to prove that the evil creatures understand English perfectly. They understand way more than you think they do, and every once in a great while, they screw up and do something you tell them to do...something that doesn't involve any buzz words like "sit" or "stay." Little plotters, they are. Never leave your phone handset and a credit card near them. You'll come home one day to a Jacuzzi in your living room and a pool full of Hooter girls.

6:30 am - The alarm goes off. The Man gets up, the poodles get up and demand to go outside. They come back to bed after their morning constitutional, and we (me and the devil's minions) go back to sleep.

8:00 am - Some people can't let sleeping dogs lie. In this case, The Man is soooo amazed that the dogs (especially the Goldfish) don't bark at him when he comes back in the bedroom that he has to wake us all up to comment on that amazing occurence. Thanks, honey.

I decide to go ahead and get up.

8:30 am - Cup of coffee in hand, a few chunks of canteloupe, and Jeffrey Deaver's new Lincoln Rhyme mystery in hand, I toddle out to the patio to read and bask in the morning air.

9:00 am - Call best friend and persuade him to pick me up so we can "appropriate" his dad's mint condition Ferrari and drive all over downtown Chicago, lunch in a fancy French restaurant, and appear on a parade float...wait, this is not *my* day.

9:45 am - Last cup of coffee. Maybe I should dust. Yeah, right.

10:00 am - Dimmer Switch call to ask a question about some paperwork from the last quarter. I lay my head on the dining room table and let her blab. Conversation with her doesn't really require much input on your part. A few grunts and "uh huhs" is all you need.

10:38 am - Up from my nap, I bid Dimmer Switch adieu. I'm still not really sure what all we "talked" about, but she seemed satisfied with our conversation.

11:00 am - I could do a load of laundry. Or, I could not.

12:00 pm - I really should take a shower.

1:45 pm - I take a shower.

2:00 pm - I weighed myself. Get this--scale says I have lost 17 pounds. Cool...and it was an afternoon weight. As far as I'm concerned, that's just the cherry on top. I get dressed and go to the library for more books to celebrate my weight loss. I hit the Publix for dinner fixings and head home.

4:00 pm - The new Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown mystery invites me out to the patio for some face time.

6:20 pm - I fix some dinner. Grilled boneless country-style ribs with a paprika-brown sugar rub and some of that damned rice pilaf, which turned out perfectly fine, wouldn't you know it?

10:10ish pm - I blog. It was a perfectly wonderful lay-zee day and now I'm going to bed, because I have to be all bright and cheerful in the a.m. for Super Suppers.

In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."