Incredible Edible (we hope!) Eggs

Wednesday's Pantry class was the beginning of the great egg cook-off. We're going to be doing eggs and breakfast cookery for the next 3 weeks. Chef Pantry informed us of a couple of projects for class--the inevitable "do a brunch menu for 250 people with at least 12 recipes, and include the recipes and the food requisitions." And, let's not forget the egg project: 50 ways to prepare eggs plus an essay about your thoughts on eggs.

As soon as he said "50 ways to prepare eggs," that Simon & Garfunkel ditty ran through my head, and I lost all semblance of paying attention because I was trying to figure out how to fit eggs into the song...and wondering if I could turn that in as my 1-page essay and get points for it. Probably not, but here's my most"eggscellent" parody of it. (And the "Innernet" heaves a collective groan and clutches its forehead.) Thought we were done with the mangling of pop tunes, did you? Hee!

50 Ways to Cook Your Eggs

The problem is all inside your head, Chef said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle with breakfast cookery
‘Cause there’s at least fifty ways to cook your eggs

Chef said it's really not my habit to intrude
The grade you get is all up to you
Furthermore I hope you have the aptitude
For the fifty ways to cook your eggs, yes fifty ways to cook your eggs

Chorus:
Just slip out the pan, Sunny, make sure your yolk is runny
Don’t need to break the Poached, Coach, just remove it gent-ly
Fold up the Omelet and stuff, just don’t add too much
Then brush with butter and pour up another

Chef said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said, I appreciate that, then would you please explain about the fifty ways

Chef said, why don't you just sleep on it tonight
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then he handed me his Escoffier and I realized he’s probably was right
There must be fifty ways to cook your eggs, fifty ways to cook your eggs

I know, you are all running for the extra-strength pain reliever now...however, I will take suggestions to make it better...I think the chorus might need a little work, so feel free to "egg" me on with your versions.

A little egg and chef trivia: a chef's hat has 101 pleats, which are supposed to represent the 101 ways to cook eggs as espoused by Auguste Escoffier, the grand master of cooking. Now, go forth and win some bar trivia contest!

Chef demonstrated scrambled eggs and poached eggs and Eggs Benedict. Then, we got to play short order cook and cook lunch for our partner. I got the Chiclet to scramble me some eggs, because I was hungry and you know that takes the least amount of time. She did very well, I thought, and I poached an egg for her. Chef complimented me on my finished product, too.

(My favorite version of the origin of Eggs Benedict is that it was created as a cure for a hangover...not that I've ever wanted anything remotely resembling eggs when I've been hung...not that I've been hungover that often...well, at least once or twice, but that's ALL I'm copping to!)

Chef discussed how you can poach a truckload of eggs the night before for brunch service, blanch them in ice water, pat dry, and store in a perforated half pan for service the next day. You heat them up by dipping the perf pan in a hotel pan of simmering water for a few seconds, just to heat them through, and viola! instant Eggs Benedict! Them chef peoples got some purty nifty tricks, they do!

We're going to learn how to boil the perfect eggs, both soft and hard, as well as make pancakes and waffles. This is rapidly becoming my all-time favorite class, especially when we get to Cheese Day. He said we would be have and round-table discussion about cheese, cheese making, and then the music to my ears, the cheese tasting! Love cheese...love it, love it, love it!

I so could do a number on "50 Ways to Eat Your Cheese"...naaah, I've tortured you enough for one day. So, I'll just leave you with a final chorus of "50 Ways to Cook your Eggs."

Just slip out the pan, Sunny, make sure your yolk is runny
Don’t need to break the Poached, Coach, just remove it gent-ly
Fold up the Omelet and stuff, just don’t add too much
Then brush with butter and pour up another