"Princess Smoke"

Oh, my.

This is a very, very interesting site: www.willitblend.com

You gottta love a company that takes its product and has this much fun with it. Blendtec commercial blenders appear to be the mother of all whirling dervish blenders as evidence by the Will It Blend? video selection. Tom Dickinson, the guy who runs the blender has a geeky, grandfatherly visage, but there's a maniacal gleam in his eye as he asks the question, "Will it blend?" Talk about a way to enjoy your work. There are a bunch of videos of him blending a wide variety of items...click on the Don't Try This At Home link to watch the melee that ensues when you put a golf club, light bulbs, marbles, or my favorite, Dancing Princesses, in a Blendtec blender and whirr them up.

(WARNING! VIOLENCE! and Extreme Barbie Mayhem! If you have small Barbie lovin' children around, for the love of Pete, don't let them watch, or you'll be paying therapy bills well into the next millenium! Note: I figure those hideous Bratz dolls are fair game for the Blendtec guy. "Bratz in a Blender" could be your new favorite holiday tune.) When Tom says, "oooh, Princess smoke," it's all I can do to keep from falling on the floor. (Hey, easily amused!)

As you watch the videos, keep in mind this little disclaimer from the website: "The Total Blender that is used in the “Will it Blend” video series is the entry level blender for the Blendtec home product line. (You ought to see what Blendtec 20 am commerical models will do…..)" The entry level HOME blender!!...boggles the mind and gives rise to all sorts of entertaining and grim fantasies...and grimly entertaining fantasies. Hee. Just waiting for one to show up on The Sopranos.

You know good and well if you got one, the first thing you'd do, AFTER you made a whopping monster batch of Knock You Naked Margaritas in it, is look around the house for things to poke in and whirr into oblivion...starting with all those butt-ugly gifts you've received over this holiday season and many others. Things you got from your mother's crazy aunt or your dad's loony uncle...things made of ceramic or black velvet with fiber optic lights...things you couldn't give away at a yard sale...those kinds of things. Maybe the entire Tower of Treats from Hickory Farms or something...you know, nothing says Christmas like a big ol' Summer Sausage! At 330 mph, no less.