Monday, October 24, 2005

Satan has Poodles

He does. Just ask anyone who owns one of the evil things, much less 3 like the gluttons for punishment we are. The newest one has revealed his demonic nature in spades. To date, he's eaten 2 1/2 books, 3 harnesses, parts of his crate, the Entertaiment Weekly with Cameron Diaz on the cover (The Man was a bit upset by that, since he hadn't gotten to look at the Cameron pix yet), fringey parts of 3 rugs, a partial bag of freeze-dried chicken breasts that he swiped from the top of the dining room table, and a partial bag of pepperoni rolls also swiped from the aforementioned table.

He is a generous poodle, however, because he shared some of his chicken breast spoils with the one who thinks he is a goldfish (will eat until bursting), which caused the goldfish to have explosive diarrhea, in effect bursting him and I guess paying him back for an earlier smackdown. Maybe there is a method to his black madness.

I know, we should crate him, but he has crate, he's eaten parts of the crate handle, and the inside of it looks like you tried to bury him alive in it. He's on anti-anxiety medicine to help with this, and I just feel bad about putting him in it if we are only going to be gone a couple of hours. (Let's cut him some slack on this, because he is a rescued poodle, and we're not sure what evil experiences he had up until the time we were suckered into taking him. The lady at the Humane Society said he was found wandering the countryside, and his coat really did show it. He is afraid to go out in the dark backyard, which does break your heart a wee bit...until he eats another harness or book!)

But, then he turns that little face towards you, smiling, puts a paw out on your arm, as if to say "I didn't mean it...I will be good as gold and never do this again." You gather him up in your arms, he looks over your shoulder, winks, and you just know "sucker" is written across your forehead in blinking red neon.


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