Saturday, November 05, 2005

I used to love the 80s

Until VH1 started tormenting me with memories and Mo Rocca...who the hell is Mo Rocca anyway? WTF is a "television personality"? And how do I get that job, hanging out on VH1, snarking at cheesy moments from the past, and acting like I am so far above it all, when you know they were all decked out in fluorescent hightops and crushing on Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald, the quintessential 80s prom king and queen. Puhlease!

The 1987 episode is playing now...if VH1 would just pay a little more moola, maybe they could get better freaks and has-beens for the running commentary instead of this stellar roster:

Hal Sparks--loser. I have a special deep dark loathing for Hal Sparks. The mere sight of his scruffy mug makes me want to throw feces at the screen. Gaak...have you ever seen such a D List celeb with...wait, all D Listers seems to have some sort of high and mighty opinion of themselves and their talent a la Kathy Griffin.

Michael Ian Black--does using all 3 of his names make him funnier? More insightful? away, unfunny little boy. Go home to Stella.

Loni Love--her IMDB entry consists of the following" She is a native of Detroit, Michigan. She is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. The sum total of her career...I'm just as qualified to snark as she is, and I need a job!

Wil Wheaton--The boy can't even properly snark on himself during the TNG segment. Sad...just sad.

That guy from Anthrax--Sir, release the raccoon from your chin! Step away from the wildlife!!

David Krumholtz--Numb3rs has got to be the stoopidest show on television...2+2=You're the Terrorist! Give me a break. Learn to spell.

But, Elvira still looks fabulous.

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