Serve you? Safely!

When I was younger, a big treat was going to the Picadilly Cafeteria in the mall. (It was a big treat because a) eating out! and b) it meant I didn't have to cook Hamburger Helper.) I remember all the ladies on the line would say "Serve you?" in the most monotone voice as you went down, except for one. She was always chatting up the customers and trying to sell her entree. I almost got liver and onions once because she was so enthusiastic about it, even though I hate liver.

Yesterday, we all had to take the ServSafe Certification exam, which in addition to having to pass it to pass the course, it counted as the mid-term grade for the course. No pressure whatsoever.

So Monday, when I should have been studying, I watched everything we had recorded for the last week and I hadn't seen. Anthony Bourdain's travel show to Sicily, Veronica Mars, Everybody Hates Chris, and a ton of other crap. All in the holy name of avoidance of studying. Occasionally, I would mumble some internal temperature cooking temps and times to myself, but that was about it. Why study today when I can study Tuesday was my thought.

Tuesday rolls around. I get home from class, whip out the book, and start reviewing the chapters. Try as I might, I cannot seem to make the words sink in to my addled brain. Why the hell my brain is addled, I have no idea. Maybe this is what happens after you turn 40 or something. We run grab some dinner, and I continue to spout time and temperature combos at The Man, who thinks I've gone 'round the bend and then starts coming up with impossible combinations...I really do wonder if you should cook squash and iguana casserole at 165 degrees F for 4 minutes, or would that be overcooking it?

To top things off, I wake up at 4:36 on Wednesday morning. Love it. Just love it. It's bad enough that I have to get up at 5...I really needed that extra 24 minutes.

The good news is that I did pass the exam, even though the stupid online test crapped out on me in the middle of reviewing the questions before final submission. If that doesn't make your stomach clench into a knot. I had clicked the "Next" button, and the damn thing gives me some Internet Exploder error message. Chef is sort of freaked out by it, too, and we managed to get it back, thereby saving what is left of my sanity for the day.

Instant feedback is always nice, so as soon as you submit your final answer set, you get the "you passed/failed message," which makes your instructor very happy and you weak with relief. You can log in later and get your actual score after everyone has submitted their tests. I got a 95, which just gives total validity to the Tivo method of study, now doesn't it?