"It tasted like dirt!"

That's the quote of the day by Chef 2 about my Espagnole sauce. She was right...it did taste like dirt, and I have no idea what the hell I did to make it taste that way. The one thing that I didn't do that Chef did during his demo was add in a little demiglace...surely Espagnole is not supposed to taste like dirt without it? It's kind of confusing to know whether or not we can step outside the box per se on the practical sheets he gave us. Murphy's Law says that the one time you do it like he demoed and not like the sheet says, that's the time you get counted off.

I did beg Chef 2 not to taste it, because I remembered how much she said she liked sauces in our 100 class. She said that her favorite days were when the Principles class had sauce demos, because she could just eat sauce with a spoon and not need anything else. She might think twice about tasting student sauces after my Espagnole.

There's probably a reason they call them the "mother sauces," because they sure were a "mother" to make.

One of our number was absent today, which always strikes fear in the collective class heart (well, except for Mr. Big Stuff, but more on him later). This was the 4th day of the final, and it seems nutso to quit now, so we were all fearing the worst for her. No one heard from her all day that I know of, and she seemed fine in Tuesday Dining Room Mismanagment class.

My knife cuts were crap, too. The sauces took way more time than I ever anticipated, and there's was not enough time to cook out the tomato sauce so its flavor would mellow. The Mother Hen and I were discussing this method of testing this morning, and to us, it makes more sense to test us at the time we observe the demo. Give us the written test and let us make sauces then. The same goes for soup, etc. Chef did a little of that, but it just seems that every single person is overwhelmed every day of the practical, and not a single one of us can finish in the allotted 3.5 hours.

One more day of this crap...one more day of this crap...

Because we were late finishing our cleanup, the Regional American Cooking class started, and it looked like they were having so much more fun than we ever did. They get to do presentations on various cuisines and then assign recipes to their fellow classmates and cook them. I cannot wait to take this class next quarter.

Mr. Big Stuff...almost forgot about him. We have this younger (to me, everyone is younger except for Dimmer Switch) guy who is working in the industry. He started in front of the house and has moved to a line cook position. This has swelled his head a bit, and he's really starting to piss the rest of the class off with his attitude and behavior. He's totally thrown that whole teamwork concept out the window and spends a fair amount of time in obvious brown nosing of all the chefs. Today was the straw that seemed to break most of the class' back. We have to get to class 40 minutes early (that's 6 freakin 30 a.m. for those of you who have been following this saga) so we can set up our stations and stage the common ingredients that everyone will be using, i.e., get the clarified butter out of the fridge and warm it, turn on the hot box we store food in, get the flour bin out, get eggs and milk, etc. Big Stuff got his personal station set up, brought out one tin of olive oil, and then proceeded to stand around and do nothing else while we all scurried about to get stuff on the table. He also made smart remarks to his table mate about the messiness of her station (like it's any of his business and his was none too neat itself), knocked my tomato sauce spoon onto the floor (didn't even slow down much less apologize), kept elbowing the Mother Hen while they were at the range...all in all, making a perfect asshat out of himself. Then, he bailed out on the dishes again...he's not washed pots and pans in weeks, and that's what really put him on the class radar. It is slightly amusing, because you really can see through most of the games he's playing with himself and others, so it would be easy to ratchet the stakes up a notch or two and put him in a playing level that he's never been on before and before he really has a chance to grasp that the rules have changed. (Snicker.) That old saying about "old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill" might just be tested...if I get enough energy saved up over the break. I tell you, I'm getting mean in my old age.

From the The More, The Merrier Department: I went to the doc today because I'm still having some sinus crap...he had given me some antibiotic last time that became know as the "Omnidroid Pills" (from The Incredibles), and while it worked a previous time, it fell flat or I've got something else. Anyway, long story short, he asks me about school and some extra details, because he has a friend who has a dream of being a personal chef and has applied to the Extremely Expensive Art College and was looking for a less expensive alternative. I told the doc that I would be willing to chat with his friend about the Fine Technical College options and gave him my email address. I told him that this was probably a bit irregular with the patient privacy thing, but I looked at as "misery loves company, and we sure could use some more company."

I promise to regroup after next's Tuesday final and kitchen scut work and stop being so whiney about class...aching feet make one uncharacteristically cranky (yes, I said "uncharacterstically," so you can ignore any snarky comments left by The Man).

Here I am!

Hope you guys enjoyed your holiday weekend. I totally put the brain on hold and tried very, very diligently not to think about school. I tried to give the feet a rest as much as I could, and they are feeling some better.

The New Hotness ate one of my wooden spoons on Sunday evening...Wednesday evening, I set my knife roll on the arm of the couch with the wooden spoons stuck just inside the handles to air out, since they were wet when I left school. Of course, I completely forgot that the kit was there (brain was on hold, remember?), so I didn't think anything about it until we came in Sunday evening. It looked liked an angry beaver had rampaged through the den. All I can think of is "it's a holiday weekend--where's the nearest emergency vet, and how big a dent will that make in our less than meager savings account?" Fortunately, he seems to have suffered no ill effects from this addition to his diet. And, here I though I was being nice and letting them stay out of the crate while we ran errands for a couple of hours. Fool me once, shame on the New Hotness and never again shall he be left to roam free while I am out of the house.

It was really weird to sleep late 2 weekdays in a row. I must confess that I woke up about 5:50 on Monday morning with a bit of a panic that I was late to school before I remembered it was a holiday. For today's class in Dining Room, we had to set up the banquet rooms for the culinary graduation ceremony on Thursday. The Wed-Thur class is going to have to serve at the graduation, which starts at 8 am. They've not been told this yet; they will find out tomorrow that they have to appear at 7 am for Thursday's class session. I kinda think this sucks for them, because what if you had plans for that morning--like a doctor's appointment--since you didn't have to show up to class until noon? I don't think it's fair for you to block out an entire 24-hour period for a class. Chef was kinda snarky last week when a couple of people had to leave and go to work after class--we ran over about 45 minutes with clean up because he let the dining room class people go early--and made some comments about that going to work was not a good excuse...even though one of the "requirements" of the program is to get a job in the industry for experience. As we keep saying, "things change every day, and it's hard to keep up with the slings and arrows."

I think part of it has to do with the fact that we are all just exhausted...we're physically and mentally worn out this quarter because of the schedule. It's hard to remain upbeat and excited when all you are thinking about is "3 more days of this crap...3 more days of this crap..."

Horror Story of the Day: Dimmer Switch tells us that over the weekend at work, she lost her wrist watch in a batch of cold vegetable salad (she works at a chi-chi food store) and had to sift through a ton of the stuff until she found it. Needless to say, her boss was less than thrilled about having to dump about 40 pounds of product. She then says something along the lines of "I can tell all the newbies to listen to what they say, because I know from personal experience." Mother Hen muttered something about "you should already know--you had the same safety and sanitation classes we did." Touche!

DS also came to class today in open-toed sandals. I really, really, really want to know what she's on, and why she won't share with the rest of us. I was semi-in charge of things today, and that was the first thing I noticed about her. "DS," I said, "do you have other shoes?" She says something about her feet hurting and these were more comfy, and did I think anyone would notice, specifically our instructor? I point out to her that *I* noticed, and she said "you notice everything," which is so not true, because you should see the dust bunnies...nevermind. I retorted with "And you think HE won't?" Two other people then walked into class and the first things they said were comments about her shoes. This is the instructor who threatened to take points off for all of us because we didn't notice a burned out light in the cafe for 2 class periods...I think he'd notice her shoes, don't you?

The really great thing about class today was a short course in wine tasting. Whee--drinking at school--how decadent is that?!!! Of course, he didn't give us much more than a couple of mouthfuls of each kind, but it helped take the edge off the day immensely. There was a nice fruity Reisling that I could have drank all of and been a very contented person. The Fine Technical College is supposed to start offering a series of wine courses this summer, which would be fun to take, so I'll keep you posted on that.

Tomorrow's practical should be mother sauces (Espagnole, Veloute, Bechamel, and Tomato) and the 17 classic vegetable cuts and their measurements. Sauces shouldn't be that much of a problem, but cross your swivel peelers that my knife cuts are okay.

Progress at last!

Practical Day 3. Menu 4: Poached Filet of Sole, Chicken Consomme Julienne, and Duchesse Potatoes. Your mission, if you choose to accept it (like you have a choice!), is to properly poach the sole using the shallow poaching method, create a clear chicken consomme with some julienned veg as garnish, and properly pipe Duchesse potatoes into pleasing shapes to serve with the sole. This menu will self-destruct in 3 hours and 30 minutes...cue fuse and funky MI theme music!

I was bound and determined that I would approach Day 3 with a more calm and serene attitude than Monday's practical. This is cooking, not rocket science. I've worked with rocket science before, and it really is harder. I understand the principles for these practical menus, I practice them at home, plus I've been cooking for years and surviving on it quite nicely (as evidenced by the bathroom scales), so I really shouldn't be wigging out as much as I have been.

Chef gives me my protein portions, and of course I get the dreaded pairing of Moby Dick and Nemo for my pieces of sole. I'm quite sure he does this on purpose to see how we'll handle this. Fortunately, I was prepared for this eventuality, and realized that I needed to cook ol' Moby a little longer than Nemo. This strategy worked well, and I was rewarded by Chef telling me "not bad, not bad" when he tasted my fish. The vin blanc (white wine) sauce was a bit problematic at first, because it would not thicken up no matter what, so I added a little arrowroot slurry to it, which fixed it right up.

The potatoes looked pretty good. You may remember them from a previous post where I may have referenced the fact that they looked like poodle poo rather than the pictured finished product, but I did manage to pipe out a fairly decent rosette. They browned up nicely, but they got a little tight from sitting in the oven a little longer than I planned...things with Moby and Nemo were getting out of hand, so I had to ignore the taters for a little while.

The consomme was the bane of my existence today. To properly create the chicken consomme, you have to start with stock and a clarification mixture. The clarification mixture involves ground chicken, white mirepoix (onion, leeks, celery, parsnips), egg whites and some seasoning. You mash the ingredients together and put it in the stock. As the stock simmers, the mixture forms a "raft," which attracts all the nasty bits floating around in the stock and helps make it clear (clarify).

The trick with this raft thing is to not break it when you remove it from the stock; otherwise you really have to work at the clarification. Of course, part of the raft broke off and disintegrated back into the stock before I could even begin to try and retrieve it. I did manage to get the stock pretty clear, but it wasn't crystal clear and fat-free as it's supposed to be served. Chef said it had good flavor (yeah!) and commented on the less than clear appearance, and was comiseratory when I explained I knew why it was cloudy and that a piece of the raft had broken. I think my understanding the how and the why of it went a long way.

I did get my grade for the day (80!!!) and for the past 2 practical days (75 for both), which if we are going on the scale that Chef doesn't ever give an A, but a B is like an A and so forth until you get to D and F, which are D and F period, then I'm batting okay. I'm still having problems with the whole idea that you cannot make an A on practical stuff, because "if you made an A, then why would you need to come to culinary school?" That philosophy sounds like so much bullshit to me, because I really feel like if a student has stretched him or herself and performed to the best of their ability and achieved the gold standard of something, then s/he deserves an A. Although, at this point, I'll take whatever I can get to pass!

I have a feeling that the next practical task will be the knife cuts and mother sauces, so you can guess what I'll be doing this weekend...torturing some poor carrots and potatoes Jack Bauer-style!

As a little reward to myself, I went to the Dining Room instructor and asked if he had any open reservations for lunch today, because I was hungry and I wanted to try those damned Cherries Jubilee. He invited me and a fellow Principles sufferer to have lunch at our cafe, and we had a rare opportunity to observe things from the other class. What was immediately evident was that our Monday-Tuesday class functions much more as a team than this class. When one of us is refilling tea or water, we always stop at other tables to refill, no matter if it's in our section or not. This class didn't really back each other up at all, and that is a part of their grade. We'll be graded individually on our progress, but there will be a team point or two factored in as well. We may still be making some of the stupid mistakes that the Wednesday class makes, but at least we've got each other's backs right or wrong.

I do feel a bit for them, because on their last day of service tomorrow, they will have 57 guests in the restaurant. They are having to moving in banquet tables in to accommodate everyone who is coming. It's going to be pretty ugly in there tomorrow, and I don't envy them one tiny little bit.

Speaking of ugly, I was talking with one of my classmates last night, and she confessed that she's been getting some smack from folks in other classes about her hanging around the kitchen and Chef so much. Ah, jealousy...it's an evil and ugly thing. These commenters have gone so far as to make mention that she has Chef's eye and ear and is his special pet because of her looks. Her initial response is "have you seen the uniform?", and I tend to agree that the Stay-Puft Dough Girl look is not very attractive, but if anyone can carry it off, it's her. But that is totally besides the point, and that vein of thought trivializes her accomplishments. The real point is that she has that vaunted "passion" that Chef keeps talking about, and she's really found her calling, so she wants to learn as much as possible about being a chef. I have no doubt that she is going to be a great chef and have a fabulous restaurant someday, and I admire her for taking the necessary steps to further her ambitions. If I were 20 years younger and 50 bajillion pounds lighter, I'd be doing the same thing...practically living at school, signing up for every volunteer event, etc. However, I don't have the feeling for it that she does. I have no burning itching desire to be a chef in a restaurant and/or own a restaurant (total insanity, that is!). My goal is completely different. I want to become a better cook and be able to cook well for people as a way to make a living (sorry if that's bursting some rosy bubbles out there, but it's the honest truth). I'm not going to be the Next Big Food Network Star or appear on Top Chef (because I would knife one of those annoying twits and end up as a prison cook, and that uniform would be even more unattractive). I want to be someone who makes peoples' lives easier and better because they have tasty and nutritious meals in the freezer...and get paid handsomely for it.

The thing that these naysayers don't get is that they could be doing exactly what she is doing and become better cooks and better students for it. Chef is extremely willing to share his knowledge about food, techniques, procedures, etc....everything but his recipe for chicken salad, which he guards like the formula for Coca-Cola, and I say bully for her for steeping herself in it. The funny thing is, I don't think that anyone in our class feels this way about her, and we live with it all the time. Chef tends to ask her to do extra things or relies on her to get stuff together for him and assist him during demos--it's just an accepted fact with us, and we pitch in to help her when she needs it. It probably looks like she is his favorite and teacher's pet, but it just takes some of the heat off the rest of us and we are grateful for it. This reliance could also work against her, because soon Chef will start to expect more out of her than the rest of us average bears, which is something else the nasty nellies don't realize either. Bah--who has time for this crap? I barely have time to sleep much less worry about what the hell someone else is or isn't doing to curry favor. Speaking of which, isn't it nap time already?

Last Dance...Last Chance for Lunch

Today was the last day of restaurant service for our class...thank heavens. I'm not sure I could have stood much more fun. : ) I honestly think we did pretty well for a group of people who had essentially never waited tables before, and we actually performed together as a team for the most part. If we failed to do something, it was never malicious; it was more that we were caught up in the newness of our tasks and trying to remember what exactly we were supposed to be doing this week, since our jobs rotated from week to week. (It didn't help that sometimes the rules of the game changed in mid-stream, day-to-day, or week-to-week, depending on the whims of the instructor and chefs. We all compared notes about a few things, and surely not all of us heard them wrong when they told us how to do something...and then said "why the hell are you doing it that way? Did we tell you to do it that way?" And you know what the answer to that rhetorical question is, don't you?)

Tomorrow is Day 3 of the practical. I made a bearnaise sauce tonight for dinner (still trying to work that psychic trick), and I think I add too much lemon juice or didn't cook the eggs enough...who knows? I have no clue if I did it right or not, but it didn't break, which is half the battle. I'm really hoping that I don't have to do knife cuts tomorrow...I really need the weekend to practice mutilating carrots and potatoes.

Cross your wooden spoons that I survive tomorrow.

Tall, Dark, and Fricasseed

Once again, I gazed into my crystal ball this weekend and made the dish that I had to make for the practical today. Am I psychic, or what? (Don't answer that.)

Saturday afternoon, the In-Laws put in much indentured servitude on our behalf, so I cooked the Chicken Fricassee for dinner. At one point, I thought I had really screwed up, because when I went to make the roux for the sauce, I grabbed the bowl of salt and white pepper mix instead of the flour and threw it in and had stirred it around before realizing my mistake. Crap, crap, crap! I just knew it was going to be too salty to eat. Enter the sage words of wisdom from The Man: "well, you said that it was amazing how different things could taste just by straining them, so I'll bet when you strain the sauce, it will turn out fine." Whaddya know? He was right. I'm having him pick lottery numbers next.

Anyway, luck of the draw today has me making the Chicken Fric and a Double Chicken Broth with homemade fresh pasta noodles. Never having actually made the pasta before, I was a bit nervous about that, but it turned out fine and was the funnest part of the day. My fricassee was okay--Chef said the sauce was good, but the chicken was overdone. The reason it was overdone had to do with the fact none of the pots at school have lids that fit tightly. Plus, whenever someone would add something to the oven, they would knock my lid off center of the pot, so my chicken more or less baked instead of braised and got too dry, which was highly irritating, because I have made this before and it has turned out perfectly fine. (How was that for the blog's longest sentence?) Textbook tender and all. I did the salt and pepper trick and threw in a huge amount on purpose this time, and it really did strain out nicely...go figure. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask Chef if I can bring in my own pot to make the rice pilaf. I can do that one in my sleep, and the little blue Le Creuset pot makes it perfectly each time.

In Dining Room, or Disaster Room as I was thinking about it today, we did tableside and I was supposed to do the cooking. I did make the guacamole appetizer and the classic Caesar salad, but our other Chef took pity on me and said she would cook the entrees and dessert. I did offer to wash her car in return for delivering me from more stress than I could handle. I thought I did okay on the guac and the salad. The interesting thing about the salad was the adding of the croutons to the dressing before tossing in the Romaine. Hadn't really thought about doing it that way before. In case you're interested in how to make a classic Caesar, here's what I did; this is salad for 4

1. Take 2 anchovy filets (good quality, if there is such a thing!) and place in salad bowl. Take a couple of forks and mash up the anchovy, breaking it apart.

2. Throw in some minced garlic and a little salt (for friction) and mash that all together.

3. Then stir in 2 egg yolks (pasteurized is what we used and were very clear about that in case anyone wanted to wig out about raw eggs). You will stir these around with the garlic and anchovy mixture--be aggressive with it and it will start to look creamy.

4. Add in some finely grated Parmesan cheese--about half a cup or so--to the egg/anchovy/garlic mixture. Add 2-3 tablespoons of lemon juice (need that acid!), and then, drizzle in some extra virgin olive oil to make an emulsion; about 1/4-1/2 cup.

5. After all the oil is incorporated, add in your croutons and toss in the dressing. Then, toss in a head of Romaine torn into pieces and roll it around in the dressing. Put some on a plate, offer more freshly grated Parm, and some freshly ground black pepper. Viola! Caesar Salad!

I did manage to have some witty banter with my guests and inform them that the Caesar Salad was name after Caesar Cardini, a famous restauranteur in the 1920s. He had a restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico, and it was all the rage for movies stars like Clark Gable and Carole Lombard to drive to Tijuana just for the salad. This tidbit and $3 will buy you a small cup of coffee at Starbucks.

Our dessert today was Cherries Jubilee, which was created by Escoffier in honor of Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee. She evidently liked cherries a whole heck of a lot, which is why he made it for her. It looked really good...note that "looked" is the operative verb here, because it's not like we got to eat any of it!

I dragged my worn out self home today and what did I find? A care package from my oldest (as in known the longest!) friend Cheryl!! She sent me a big ol' tin of Jacques Torres' Wicked Hot Chocolate ( check out www.mrchocolate.com for more yummy goodness). There was a miniature Zen Garden with sand and rake (she knows I'm really whacked out about this quarter and need something to do other than contemplate hari kari), and a book...you know how I love to get books! Don't Try This at Home is a compilation of "culinary catastrophes" from some really famous chefs. I'll read a couple of chapters tonight, and maybe someone else's FUBAR will make me feel better about Wednesday's menu... And, last, but not least, Foodie Craze, which is a food trivia game. This will really drive the classmates up the wall now, since they're already teasing me about being around when Escoffier created Cherries Jubilee. Being pop culture literate can come in handy at times, but I still can't do higher math functions...

So, the pain killer for the feet has finally kicked in, and I think I'd better turn in for the evening and spare you some really outlandish ramblings. 'Sides, I gotta polish the ol' crystal ball and see if I can figure out what's going to happen for Wednesday's practical.

UPDATE 5/24/06 5:13 a.m.: I forgot to post this last night--After Dining Room Class on Tuesday, I spoke with Chef about the Fricassee, and why it was overdone and why I thought it turned out badly. He reminded me that it wasn't really overdone per se, it was more that I had cooked it too hard in the simmering stage, which was why it felt tacky to the teeth. He said the leg was fine, which I hadn't tried because I usually am a breast girl (insert Beavis & Butthead laugh here). It may have had something to do with the breast being boneless as well, because I have been cooking bone-in chicken at home. Chef 2 who was in the office at the time I spoke to Chef reminded me that it was 2 different kitchens, different stoves, etc., which can account for some differences in how things turn out.

Everything on a stick!

Took the In-Laws to the Georgia Renaissance Festival today. We've tried to go every year that we've been in the Peach State, and we've got our favorite acts that we look forward to each year. And, it's always fun to see the way people torture themselves in medievalistic garb (i.e. VELVET!) in the hot Georgia sun.

Plus, we all know that the proper definition of Ren Faire is "everything you could possibly want to eat on a stick!" (I didn't really believe this until a couple of years ago when we saw (get ready!) Deep-Fried Macaroni & Cheese on a stick. I kid you not. Little nuggets of mac and cheese that had a crumb coating of sorts and deep-fried on a stick topped with a giant olive. They were pretty darn tasty...what, you think we wouldn't at least give them a whirl?

We really like Zucchini Brothers Danger Theatre, which is a comedy juggling act involving fire, a can of Spam, and a garden weasel. Doesn't this look like fun?


I also like the comedy stylings of Hack & Slash, and I think Hack is pretty darn cute.

The Washing Well Wenches have the best job...I think I might apply. Think about it. Traveling the country, not worrying about having a bad hair day, chasing cute guys, and hanging out at Ren Faires. Much more fun that culinary arts, and I'll bet my plantar fasciitis goes away. Plus, who wouldn't want to look like this? I'd save a ton of money on uniforms--no more ironing, spray starch, etc.



This lovely couple were kind enough to pose for me and not run me through with their swords. I think their costumes were my favorites, and I'm thinking about Halloween now...the Man would look very handsome with spikes.

And, They're Off!

And running to their doom! Day 1 of the Practical Final from Hell is over. Only 5 more left to go. Has it really been 8 freakin' weeks since we started this class?

I thought I had gotten lucky today, because my menu was Cream of Broccoli Soup, Roasted Chicken with Pan Gravy, and a White Bean Ragout. I've practiced the chicken several times and made pan gravy 'til it ran out my ears. Ah, that's what I get for thinking.

First, I put my chicken in the oven upside down. Had to turn it over (after Chef pointed it out to me). Then, most of the mirepoix was burned, which I need that for the pan gravy. So, I had to toss some of that out. Next, I added too much tomato paste to the gravy so it had a decidedly red tinge...not good. I tried to thin it out with some chicken stock, but no dice. I think it was the worst pan gravy in history. I also mangled my chicken breast when trying to cut them from the bone...I can do the leg/thigh combo with no problem, but the breast is my downfall. It looked like wild animals had gnawed on it, and none too politely either.

My broccoli soup was fine, but I let it get a little cool while I was trying to get it together to serve it. He said that he liked the texture, but it could use more salt. The beans, which were served with the chicken, were also good, but needed more salt. I was afraid that I would be oversalting things, so I hung back a little with the sodium. Guess I should trust my instincts!

I have no idea what I made for the day, because we all ran late (we were supposed to be finished by 10:30, and it was well after 11:30 before some of us got done). We had to let half the class go to prepare for their turn in the Dining Room class, and a couple of people had to leave for work, so there were only 3 of us who actually finished clean up. The Regional cooking class who comes in after us helped us with some of our pots and pans, and reassured us that they were just as late getting out of their practicals when they were in Principles. That made me feel some better, except I'm really dreading Monday now.

On Monday, it's my turn at the gueridon to cook for masses...and our instructor says we are having a full house. Great...since I've never actually flambeed anything on purpose (flambeed a paper towel on Sunday--that was a bit exciting!), this is going to be highly entertaining. Monday might be the day that the sprinkler system actually goes off.

The guys who are building our outbuilding are here this afternoon--a couple of weeks earlier than we expected them to get around to us. I know, I know...we are 2 people and 3 dogs that all total may add up to 1 good sized dog with a 3-bedroom house and a full basement. You would think we wouldn't have any storage problems, wouldn't you? It's all The Man's fault. He's a such a packrat...saving old twist ties and rubberbands and numbering them and filing them by color. Crates and cases of these twist ties and rubber bands litter our basement. (Okay, I am lying. It's more my fault than anything because I am a packrat, plain and simple. There, honey, aren't you glad I'm admitting it to the world?)

The In-Laws are coming this weekend for a few days, so I'm off to clear a path to a bedroom and bathroom for them. I may be subjecting them to some Puree of Lentil soup and Chicken Fricassee...at the very least, I hope I can be coherent and not continually babble things about food mills, potato ricers, and the infernal pasta machine.

Cooking School Dropout...

No graduation day for you.
Cooking School dropout,
Missed your midterms and flunked braising, too!

(a little Frankie Avalon and Grease homage here...or should we be doing Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust"?)

Not me, silly! We just lost another member of our merry band today, just one class day before the practical begins...it's getting kinda scary here. The reason this member dropped out is because she's really only interested in baking. She has no desire to be a savory cook and doesn't plan to do anything but baking and she was stressing out in a major way over the upcoming practical. The previous baking chef/teacher was like that--he was pretty frank in that all he had ever done was baking and had never done any savory cooking and had no real desire to do any.

Class was very small today...we had a dropout, a latecomer, and one who was sick, so we only had 6 people in line up this morning, and we were looking pretty lonely. This rolled downhill later when it came time for Dining Room, and we were 2 people short. Two peoplethat we desperately needed. I think the service went fine, considering that we were short-staffed, and today was the day we, the class, had to start doing the cooking. I'm supposed to cook next Monday, which will be another thing to lose some sleep over. Joy.

So, I told Chef about the plantar fasciitis thing and told him that I could only take one class next quarter and which one would he recommend--Baking I or Regional Cooking? He said definitely Regional, since the only thing I could take after Baking would be Baking II, and I needed Regional to continue with the cooking classes. My heart sort of leapt for joy at that, because this means that I don't have to go to class until 12:00 NOON!!!! NOON, people!! NOON!!!! I can actually sleep to a normal hour...and get some sleep. Sleep, glorious sleep...it's all I live for!

Today, we finished up with some of the pasta and grain things that we skipped last week. We made 2 kinds of gnocchi (I only thought there was one); one with semolina flour, and one with the potatoes (this is the one I am most familiar with). The semolina ones are sort of like polenta in looks and texture, and you don't cook them in water. Someone asked what you would serve the (potato) gnocchi with, and I piped up with "Vodka sauce!" Chef looked at me like I was insane, and said "Vodka sauce?!" and shook his head. I could never get out of him what the hell was wrong with vodka sauce. He probably feels that it's some bastardized tomato sauce and not part of the true religion of gnocchi, polenta, and tomato sauce. Personally, I like a good vodka sauce, and I believe that I make a good one. I got the recipe from the Internet, repository of all things holy and unholy, and it turns out perfect every time. Unfortunately, I cannot remember where on the Internet I got it, or I would credit the author. I did email her at the time and tell her how much I liked, and she said to pass it along freely. So, here I shall pass it along to all of you!

Tomato-Vodka Sauce

Ingredients

1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 (28 ounce) can canned peeled and diced tomatoes (preferably some Italian brand like San Marzano)
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup vodka
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
salt and pepper to taste
1 pound penne pasta
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese (yeah, right! I use shredded and a bunch of it...never can be too cheesy for me!)

Directions

In a large skillet over medium heat, melt butter with oil; add onion and saute for 8 minutes or until transparent. Add tomatoes and cook for 25 minutes or until almost no liquid remains in skillet; stir frequently.

Increase heat and add cream, vodka and red pepper flakes; boil for 2 minutes or until thickened to sauce consistency. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add penne and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain and transfer to a large bowl.

Bring sauce to a simmer and pour over pasta; toss to coat. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese; serve.

See, it's easy! And Maggiano's charges $15.95 a plate for gnocchi in vodka sauce...and I think this one is better, but that's just me. : )

The gnocchi part is actually easier than you think, too. Just potatoes and a little flour and egg to make a simple dough. I've made it several times, before I went to school, and it turned out great...although, the time I made it with the heavy bleu cheese sauce was a bit interesting. It was too heavy as an entree, but the leftovers worked fine as a side for a ribeye steak.

We also made risotto, polenta, and one of my all time fab faves, spatzle!! Too bad we didn't have a weiner schnitzel and some gravy! Chef threw some eggs in while he sauteed the spatzle, and that was a fine and wonderful thing, that scrambled eggs and spatzle. Do you like Green Eggs and Spatzle, Sam I am? Do you like them in a box? With a fox? or maybe with some lox and cream cheese and a bagel!!!

And, I got a potato ricer today at Target for $6! Gonna rice me up some taters tomorrow night and make those Duchesse Potatoes (you know, the ones that looked like poodle poo before?). But, tonight, tonight we are going out! Because I have to turn in a Shopper's Report that evaluates a restaurant on Service Standards. We've done a couple of these reports in previous classes, and they each focused on a different aspect. We did one in Safety and Sanitation that focused us more on how clean was the restaurant? Did they use proper safety and sanitation procedures when serving food? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. This one is for the Dining Room class and focuses on type of service we got (or didn't get as the case may be!). Besides, what better excuse is there to eat out than I have to do it for homework?

Happy Mummy's Day!

This is for Erin S., who wanted to know how to make braided bread. This is a Polish Kielbasa and Cheddar Cheese bread, and it's pretty tasty. I took it to a friend's house for dinner last night as the appetizer, and it was very well received. I also learned something interesting about kielbasa...as in the way it's pronounced. Evidently, in the South where we tend to leave out constanants or whole endings of words, we are all compelled to say the "L" in the middle, as in "kill-bas-a." According to the people from the frozen North, who come from areas with heavy Polish populations, it is pronounced "key-basa," or something like that...the "L" is silent. Who knew?!

Here we go:

First, you take your thawed frozen bread dough (this is Bridgeford brand; I've used fresh pizza dough from the grocery before, too), and roll it into an oblong shape. Remember, you don't have to be perfect--this is why we call this "rustic."




Next, you put the diced Kielbasa down the middle of the dough. I used about 8 ounces or so.


Add 1/2 cup marinara sauce over the sausage:


Add 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese:


Add 1/4 cup diced onions:


And a few diced green peppers; The Man and I aren't big green pepper fans, but it does look pretty. If you like green peppers, you can add about 1/4 cup.


After all the ingredients are in place, you will take a dough cutter or a knife and make slashes down the sides of the bread. You will want to leave the top and the bottom areas uncut. Try to make an even number of slashes down each side, and thicker is better.


It will look something like this:


Now, we make the Mummy (finally, she gets to the analogy for the title of this post!). Take the bottom flap and tuck in the mummy's feet:


And, then tuck the mummy's head:


The Mummy needs to be wrapped, so start at the bottom right and take a strip of the dough and cross it over to the opposite side. Take the opposing bottom left strip and cross it over; continue doing that until you reach the top. Then, you will have 2 weird flaps that you aren't sure what to do with (at least I always do!), and I just cross them back down the mummy.


After the mummy is bound, brush a little oil on the top and sprinkle with a little kosher salt:


Now, your mummy is ready for entombing either in the freezer or the oven:



If you opt to cook your mummy immediately, preheat the oven to 375° and put the mummy on a lightly greased baking pan (cooking spray works fine) and pop it in for about 20-30 minutes; cooking times may vary, depending on your oven. You will want to use a baking pan as opposed to a cookie sheet, because the mummy might burst its seams in places, and leak a little bit. (I know, I know--this imagery is getting weird!).

If you opt to freeze your little mummy, you will need to pop it out of the pan, place on a lightly greased baking sheet and thaw it out completely. Then, follow the directions above. If you have to cook it from the frozen state, defrost in refrigerator up to 1 day, or at room temperature 1 hour or until thawed. If desired, let dough rise until puffy. If frozen or partially frozen, cover with foil & add 20 minutes covered baking time before proceeding with uncovered baking time. This all may vary, depending on your oven.

Of course, we ate the darn thing before I thought about getting a picture of the finished product. I may have to make another one and update this post.

Enjoy your mummy's day!!

Hasta la Pasta

Or, we didn't get a whole lotta pasta yesterday, dammit! We did, however, get to make our very own Bearnaise sauce all by our little selves. I'm wondering if there is such a thing as "Bearnaise Shoulder" like tennis elbow? A repetive motion injury caused by having to make Bearnaise sauce and whipping it for enternity, which was I think I was about 38 seconds short of when I made mine. I think I'm going to have to practice whisking with my left hand so I can become ambiwhiskerous and survive making this sauce for the final. I think it turned out okay; it didn't break, which was my biggest fear, and I thought it tasted fine. I was the last one to make mine, because there are 9 of us and only 4 spaces at a whack on the stove, so I was odd woman out today. I was trying to finish mine and people kept trying to take my tools and ingredients away, and I was getting more than a little frustrated with them.

Then, I almost ended my little culinary experiment in terror for good when I came about a gnat's whisker away from telling the jerky chef from the other class to f-off. In the aforementioned time of frustration, and not to mention that my knee was killing me, I was trying to finish the sauce while our chef was trying to gather people up to finish the pasta demo. Someone had so *kindly* cleared my tasting spoons, even after I had repeatedly told people to leave my station alone. Anyway, I had no spoon, I had no way to grab one and keep on with the whisking, so I lifted the whisk, slung a little on my finger and tasted it. At no time did my hand ever touch the whisk or the contents of the bowl. Of course, Jerky Chef sees me as he walks by and makes some snotty comment about did I know what a tasting spoon was and how to use it? That was just about the straw that broke the camel's back today, and I glared at him and physically had to clamp down my lips so I wouldn't open my mouth and tell him to kiss my fat ass in no uncertain terms. I really would have gotten a zero for the day at that point, but I was almost at the point where I didn't really care.

Yes, I know what a tasting spoon is, and I know how to use one, but as our chef always says "just do it," which I take to mean that I should improvise when necessary to get the job done. I've been observing the Jerky Chef as he teaches the other class, because it is a class that I will take next quarter, and I really hope he's not the instructor (and I hoped this BEFORE he ever made his snotty comment). He doesn't give any feedback to his class on how they are doing, especially on their practicals, which I (and they) think is important. If you present something to your instructor that he needs to taste and rate as part of your grade, the very least he could do is tell you if it tastes okay. Not this guy. I heard from one of the folks in his class that when he tasted all her stuff, he didn't say a word, didn't even look at her. She finally had to say "well how was it?" before he even would say it was okay. No feedback on what she did wrong/right/how she could correct anything. Sorry buddy, that's just not my philosophy on teaching...you as the teacher need to help your students understand what they do wrong and what they do right. How the hell else are the students supposed to learn? But, I digress, because I am tired and cranky and my knee still hurts.

On to the pasta...Chef demoed how to make pasta dough, which is incredibly simple of course, which means it will become a complete and total mess when I have to do it, and demonstrated the pasta rolling machine. We're going to have to make fresh egg noodles for one of our soups on the practical, and while it looked easy when he did it, I'm not so sure...wait, this might be an opportunity to buy a new kitchen gadget--a pasta machine!! Hmmm...the little hamster wheels begin to turn.

The best part of the day was when he made Pasta Alla Carbonara. I've had this once or twice before, tried to make it myself, and it wasn't all that and the proverbial bag of chips. Which meant I had high hopes for Chef's version, and I was not disappointed. The sauce was very creamy and not dry as I've had/made before, which made all the difference in the world. Plus, he used proscuitto instead of bacon, so that added a little oomph to it. He constantly reminds us that we need to be observant and get the most usage out of things--for example, like for the Carbonara, he subbed the proscuitto, because it was what he had on hand, rather than open a new package of bacon.

Chef, being of Italian descent, expounded on the Italian (and his) philosophy of pasta, which is one right after my own heart. He says that the pasta is NOT just a carrier for the sauce; rather it has a flavor and taste all its own, and it shouldn't be over powered by the sauce. That's how I feel about it. I don't like overly saucy pasta, because I like the taste of the pasta to come through as well, plus I always drip it all over myself, and I will be wearing a light colored top to boot. When I was younger--heck I still do this--I would just make noodles with a little butter and salt and nothing else. Let your Rotini shine!!!

I went to the doc yesterday for the old BP checkup (which was great, BTW) and to find out what's wrong with my feet, which constantly ache. I know that it is in part because I am on them way more than I used to be, but it seems they hurt more after I sit down for awhile...which was exactly what the doctor asked. I thought it was just my weird body or something, because one would think that your feet wouldn't hurt as much AFTER you were off them.

Anyway, he says I have plantar fasciitis, which is an inflammation of the tendon that connects the heel to the base of the toes. That's about where it hurts...and some of the causes are: being a woman (check), being overweight (check), or if you have a job that requires a lot of walking or standing on hard surfaces (check). Damn, I'm batting a thousand here, aren't I? And guess what the cure is? Rest and staying off the feet...bwhaaahhhhaaaahhaa! So, I'm really seriously, as in have 3/4 of the way made up my mind, considering taking only 1 class next quarter so I have more time to rest the feet and lose some poundage. (At least the doctor's scale agreed with my scale and recorded actual loss of weight this visit...sometimes it says I have gained weight--go figure!)

I had signed up for Regional Cooking and Baking 1 next quarter, and while a part of me says keep the Regional class because it is in the afternoon, the other part says get the damn Baking party started even if it means continuing to get up at 5 am (aaauuughhh!) Baking does interest me more, because I've always seen it as a mystery, but the Regional thing looks fairly simple, and depending on my GPA results from this quarter, I may need to go with the simple!

We say Haricot Verts, you say Green Beans

(It's a theme, people!)

Today was the second day of service in Dining Room Mismanagement and the first day for the ala carte menu. The Cuisines class came up with a rather adventurous menu, IMHO, because there were 5 appetizers, a soup or salad, 6 entrees, and 5 desserts to choose from for your dining pleasure. Not that I'm not about choices or anything, but think about having to cook all this, especially if you have no line experience...frightening, just frightening.

I was the hostess for the day, and after I seated our guests, I floated here and there, doing whatever tasks were necessary for the moment. I refilled beverages, refilled tea and water pitchers, ran food, etc. Just a Jill of all trades. While standing back in the kitchen watching the hubbub, one of my DR classmates and I looked at each other at the same time and said, "No way are we passing this Cuisines class!" I realize that I'm several quarters away from this class, and I haven't even passed Principles yet, but it doesn't seem to get any easier!!!

Just to taunt you, here's the menu for the day:

Starters

Sushi
Sushi Rolls with or without tuna with avocado, cucumber, and carrots. Served with pickled ginger, wasabi and a soy reduction.

Onion Tart
Onions are caramelized in butter then folded in with a Swiss Emmenthal cheese and a rich custard filling then baked in a fresh made short tart and served warm w/ fresh figs & fig-Port reduction

Caprese
Beef Steak Tomatoes and Buffalo Milk Mozzarella w/ cracked pepper, sea salt, balsamic gelée, basil micro greens,

Gravlox
Cured fresh salmon fillet with capers, eggs, red onions, and Cornichons

Roasted Vegetable Napoleon w/ Pesto Sauce

Soup / Salad

Italian Wedding Soup
Savory and plentiful vegetable soup with tiny meatballs

Caesar Salad
Romaine Lettuce, Shaved Parmesan, Classic Caesar Dressing with Garlic Croutons

Main
Breast of Chicken Chardonnay
Breast of Chicken sautéed in chardonnay with black pepper pasta
and grilled artichokes

Beef a la Oscar
Grilled strip steak topped with crabmeat & finished with béarnaise sauce served with creamy scalloped potatoes and haricot verts.

Grilled Lamb with Caramelized Garlic Sauce
Grilled double-rib lamb chops served on a caramelized garlic sauce with hints of fresh tomato and basil with a creamy wild mushroom risotto and sautéed zucchini squash medley.


Bass & Scallop en Papillote
Bass fillet and Scallops prepared in a light stock, gremolata, and black peppercorns with julienne vegetables and red bliss potatoes

Grilled Tuna
Tuna steak seasoned and grilled, roasted pepper and balsamic sauce served with snows peas, baby carrots and gnocchi.

Crabmeat Stuffed Flounder
Pan Fried with lemon buerre blanc, zucchini and summer squash medley and asparagus risotto

Smoked Quail
Red wine reduction w/grapes, wild rice pilaf & haricot verte

Desserts

Banana Chocolate Mousse Cake
Banana cake layered with creamy chocolate mouse and covered with a smooth dark chocolate glaze.

Ice Cream & Sorbet Trio
Creamy buttermilk ice cream with fresh mango and raspberry sorbets in a crispy sesame basket and accompanied by coconut sauce & kiwi coulis.

Fruit Plate
Seasonal fruit served with sweet balsamic cream.

Grand Marnier Crème Brûlée
Classic Crème Brulee accented with Grand Marnier for a burst of orange flavor.

Espresso Souffle
Rich espresso-flavored soufflé complimented with a scoop of buttermilk ice cream added tableside.


It makes me hungry all over again just reading it. We did get some leftovers for family meal after service was over. I had some of the caprese salad, the chardonnay chicken, the risotto, the haricot verts, and the expresso souffle, which was (I'm running out of adjectives here!) divine. I drizzled some of the leftover coconut sauce on it, and it was sooo very good. Chef didn't seem too pleased with the food when we told him it was good, but it really was...especially for the grand price of $12 American!

As part of the guest list, we had 12 students and instructors from a local high school who are in a high school culinary program--I think it's sort of a vo-tech kinda thing. They actually did the ServSafe course and a short form of our purchasing course, and one of their instructors is a graduate of the Fine Technical College's program. I queried her on how she got her job, since she doesn't have a teaching degree, but she does have the ServSafe instructor's certification. She said that there are several high schools with this program, and she works with all of them on a rotating basis. I filed that away in the old job bank part of the brain as a possible means of making some moola after I get out of school.

The kids were pretty funny during the time before we seated them. As host, I have to stand out in the hallway and converse/interact with our guests until time to seat. They were asking me about the program, but more importantly, how was the menu for the day? Evidently, they had gone to the Very Expensive Arty Institute for lunch and to see the programs available there, and they were mightily disappointed in what they were served for lunch. They said it was pretty, in that single pea on a big white plate kind of way, but it was not tasty. Dessert was the only thing they liked.

I cleared the table that included the students who told me about their meal at the other school, and their plates were all pretty much clean for all the courses, which to their credit, had some sophisticated ingredients and preparations that may have been new to their palates. They were all smiles and very complimentary, in a "like you know, that was like the best food, evah!" kind of way. A couple of them are actually enrolling for the fall quarter on campus, so that ought to be pretty entertaining to say the least.

Well, it's off to bed now...I may have to make some sort of unholy deal with my left knee so it will work tomorrow...it's been really achey today and my feet are really protesting tonight. Tomorrow's Principles class is really my favorite food group, even more favorite than fried--PASTA!!

Potato, Po-tat-to; It's all Tater Salad to me!

The Good News: My knife kit was at school and in Chef's office. WheW! Big load off the old chest that was...and he didn't even rake me over the coals too badly...which was good, considering I was rushing around doing stuff for him and trying to get to an event to represent the school--not that that excuse cuts any butter with him.

The Better News: Today was "tater day" in class. Chef demoed 11 different potato dishes: Rosti potatoes, Rissolee potatoes, Lyonnaise Potatoes, Anna Potatoes, Duchesse Potatoes, Potato Pancakes...I'm starting to sound like the Bubba Gump of potatoes, aren't I? And, for some reason, I keep putting a damn "e" on the end of potato every time I type it--what is this, some weird Dan Quayle flashback??

I made the Duchesse potatoes a few weeks back when I roasted a chicken in practice for the practical final. They're basically mashed potatoes with egg yolk, a little cream, butter, and nutmeg, and you pipe them into attractive shapes/rosettes and brown them...mine looked like Dogue Poopesse potatoes because I couldn't get them to pipe correctly. Here's what they are supposed to look like:
Mine weren't exactly rosettes; I'll leave it to your imagination as to what exactly they looked like.

The Rosti Potatoes are like a giant crusty hashbrown cake that has been browned in butter...ah, butter. We love it so. As Chef said today, "In Culinary, we spell flavor F-A-T," as he added 3-4 more blocks to the Crepes Suzette he made at lunch.

Lyonnaise Potatoes originated in Lyon, France, an area that is known for (not potatoes!)...its onions. It's basically home fries with a glorified name...maybe the first home fries if you want to get technical about it, since the French did invent a lot of this here cooking stuff...after the Italians showed them the way (this is culinary history according to Chef, who is Italian). (He's actually on the right track, because the French were sort of in a culinary rut until Catherine de Medici showed up with her entourage and chef and introduced them to tons of tasty things. I'm betting the whole "which came first--the gnocchi or the gelee is a hotly debated topic between French and Italian chefs and others...alot like that whole "War of Northern Aggression" thing we've got going on here in the South.)

The Rissolee Potatoes are sort of like potato "popables"--you know, the little candies that are "popped" out of their larger counterparts--basically chocolate-covered balls of Butterfinger, Reeses Cups (yuuuuuuummmmm!), etc. They are so cute, when they are browned in a little butter...you can see that butter is our constant companion here on Tater Day.

We also learned what types of potatoes should be used for what dishes--if you need a drier potato, go for a mealy one like an Idaho. If you need one with more starch and moisture, go for a waxy one like a red bliss.

Other "Tater Tips": Remember how I told you that this class should be subtitled "Everything You've Been Doing Wrong..."? Well, today was the potato lesson. Anyone (self included) who has used an electric mixer or one of those medieval looking potato mashers has been doing it wrong, wrong I tell you! (Well, that's what Chef told me.) The thing we've all been doing wrong is breaking up the potatoes too much and releasing too much starch, which causes them to clump and become gluey. The trick is to run them through a potato ricer or a food mill, then add hot milk or cream and butter (the hot part is important), and then use the paddle attachment of the mixer and mix at a low speed, or you can do it by hand. He did make some mighty fine smooth and creamy whipped potatoes today, so it must work. A bajillion chefs can't be wrong, can they?

I, the ever practical one, piped up and asked Chef what we should do if we were at someone's house and were asked to make the mashed potatoes, and they didn't have a ricer/food mill. He's looking at me like I've finally grown that other horn out of my forehead, and I tell him that I'm not truly nuts but I figured since all our families knew we were in culinary school, we would get hit up at holidays, etc. to make dishes, because we would know the "right" or "fancy" way to do it, whatever it may be. He suggested that we could use a colander to push the potatoes through. So, dear readers, I challenge you to try this the next time you mash potatoes and see if you notice any difference. Also, heat your cream/milk and butter together before you incorporate it. (Personally, I'm going to hunt down a potato ricer just as soon as I can walk/run to the nearest potato ricer store, because you can never have too many kitchen gadgets, even though your drawers may be overflowing, you're up to 3 utensil crocks and could use a 4th, etc. Then, I could fashion a strap for it and wear it, bandolier-style when I go visit people. Which in turn may cut down even more on my limited social calendar, which is fairly barren as it stands now. )

Today was the first day of service in the dining room. Amazingly enough, we did pretty well, although it did get a little smokey in there, and we were afraid the sprinkler system was going to go off. Both Chef and Other Chef did all the tableside preparation/cookery. We had arranged the tables so that the chefs were sort of on stage for different groups of tables. Our instructor intentionally kept the reservation list low so we could ease into the routine. Today's menu was similar to the demo menu from last week: guacamole, Caesar salad, Steak Diane and Soft-Shell Crab Menuiere, and Crepes Suzette for dessert. I managed to snag a spoonful of the crepe sauce when we brought the pans back to be cleaned, and it was fabulouso.

The Regional Cooking class that is going on during our dining room class offered to share their class projects with us today, so we did get a bite to eat after we had cleaned up the cafe. We're guessing they were doing Midwestern meal of sorts. They had a stuffed pork loin with sauerkraut and some beer-battered fried fish along with a bunch of roasted vegetables, which were extremely good, and a totally rockin' apple turnover.

We have service again tomorrow, and this time it is an ala carte menu with many selections. This is really going to be a test of our abilities to sling hash and not get any on us or anyone else for that matter. I'm going to practice the Duchesse potatoes again this weekend, and I'll try and take some pictures of how they turn out. I'll also let you know how the potato ricer works just as soon as I get my bandolier made...I think some rhinestones would really dress it up, don't you?

Poo-dle Update

The New Hotness seems to be fine. Tired, but fine. The Rickety Fat Dog is happy he's got his playmate back.

The vet said since he stopped throwing up and the diahrrea had mostly cleared up, he could go home Saturday morning. I figure he probably ate a pinecone or drank out of a puddle--he's bad about doing that--and got a tummy bug. Our vet is a pretty upfront guy and doesn't believe in making you spend more money than you should, while providing the proper care. He said if Hotness continued being ill, then he would run tests but that he wanted to try the antibiotic and anti-nausea stuff first and monitor his response.

When he diagnosed the Old Cranky Dog (may he rest in peace) with lymphoma, he told me that he was 99% sure that this was what was wrong with the dog, having had 2 dogs of his own die from the same thing. He prescribed some people cancer-type drugs and said if Cranky didn't respond to them, then he was 100% sure of the lymphoma diagnosis. He said that it would be less expensive to try these drugs, because the other option was a biopsy. But, more importantly, he said, that at Old Cranky's advanced age (16), he felt it would be cruel and unusual to put the dog through that. We were perfectly willing to shell out whatever it took, and he knew that, but it's not his philosophy. He was very upfront about Cranky's prognosis and eventual decline, and I appreciate his honesty and candor when it comes to dealing with Satan's poodles.

Last night, I attempted the Chicken Fricassee we made in class and I have to do for my practical final in a couple of weeks. It turned out pretty well--the sauce wasn't as thick as the one Chef made, but it had a good flavor. In the process of making it, I discovered that I have mislaid my knife kit...not good. The only thing I can think of is that I was in such a hurry to get out of class on Wednesday to not be late to the volunteer event, because the other chef had really stressed that we not be late, that I forgot to grab it off the shelf with my backpack. Chef had asked me to help him with packing up some stuff in the walk-in at the end of class, so I was doing that when the other class came in and piled all their stuff on the rack where we put our stuff, so it must have gotten lost in the confusion. I cannot believe I did that, and I 'm really hoping that someone noticed and put it in the Chef's office, or the rest of the shiny new paycheck and then some is definitely gone. Maybe the whack on my head from Tuesday affected me more than I thought--short-term memory is always the first to go, isn't it?

The Giveth and Taketh in One Fell Swoop or Should That be Poop?

The Good News for Today: I got my first actual honest-to-Betsy paycheck since August. Whoo hoo!! Much rejoicing in the streets and at Borders--they miss my weekly book purchases. I'll bet they've had profit drop since I've been on my book buying hiatus.

***Another disclaimer for the upcoming icky part of the blog. If you don't like dogs, bodily functions, etc., stop now.***
************************************************************************************

Still with me?

The Bad News: Nothing quite says "be prepared to kiss that shiny new paycheck goodbye" than when you get home and realize that one of the dogs has had explosive diarrhea and vomiting in his crate...nothing, I tell you.

The New Hotness did appear pretty miserable when I carried him in his crate outside to free his icky self. I hosed him off and scooped him up to take him in the house and give him an actual bath. The Rickety Fat Dog is prone to have an irritable colitis condition, so we have pills that will clear the poopy sort of thing up quickly. I was washing Hotness, thinking about grabbing the pills when I got done, when he starts hurling in the bathtub. Dogs projectile hurl just like children...who knew? I make a quick call to see if the vet is still there--got 20 minutes before closing--and grab the dog and towel and rush out the door...chanting "I love you, but please, please don't throw up in the car!"

We get to the vet, and he recommends keeping Hotness overnight with drugs to stop the vomiting and pooping. So, I leave him there, looking all forlorn and shivering. Breaks the heart, it does. Breaks the wallet too, but what else are you going to do? It's my responsibility to make sure he's okay, no matter what.

I get home and the remaining two hellions are hopping up and down as normal. About 20 minutes after I return, the Rickety Fat Dog starts acting strange...going to the basement stairs and looking down and then coming to look at me, and going to look out the sliding glass door. It's obvious that he wants to know where the hell is the New Hotness because it's time for our afternoon zoom through the house. He's really got a reproachful look on his face. The Goldfish is oblivious...he's probably thinking that he shouldn't get his hopes up about the return to a two-dog household just yet.

Today, one of my SS cohorts took a delivery order over for a customer. This customer came to us because her husband was bugging her about when he was going to get a home cooked meal again. I have no idea what he does, but the customer is a successful doctor with her own practice, a mother of a small child, and pregnant with another one...and he wants to know when *he's* going to get a hot meal. Yeah, my jaw is bruised from hitting the floor, too. I'm thinking she should tell him to get his own damn meals or how about this--cook for her! What a concept, this "marriage is a partnership" thing is!

On other fronts, my new tablemate in Principles class is dropping out of school. : ( She's one of my favorite people in class, and we've been hanging out together some outside of class. She's got a lot going on in her life right now, and school is just not one of the things she needs to be doing. We've pledged to keep in touch, and I know our class is going to be a little off kilter for awhile because she's gone. It's amazing how close some of us have grown in the short time we've known each other--that whole "family" concept doesn't seem so far-fetched now.

Puck Me! Wolfgang Style!

OMG! Y'all will never believe this! (Indulge me just a moment while I immerse my normally semi-rational self into squealing fan girl mode...) We had a volunteer opportunity this afternoon for an event at the Georgia Aquarium. It was Taste of the Nation, which benefits foodbanks and shelters. Some 40-odd best of the best ATL chefs converged to create nummies and yummies for the monied masses (tickets were not cheap, but it does go to a good cause), who will wander the aquarium ballroom drinking and nibbling in their swankiest duds and staring at things in tanks that look amazingly like what is on their plates.

Anyhoooooo, a bunch of us from class volunteered to help out (service points! which I so desperately need), so we went to the big fish tank and helped the chefs unload their food and set up their booths. Wolfgang Puck Catering runs the catering concession for the aquarium, so it was rumored that the man himself would be there...AND HE WAS!! AND, I GOT TO MEET HIM AND GET MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH HIM!! Okay, I'll stop squealing now and return you to your normally level-headed blog hostess.

Unfortunately, I don't have the picture yet, because it wasn't with my camera, so I'll have to wait until Monday to get a copy from the Resident Mother Hen. Chef Puck really was the nicest guy. He greeted everyone as he went by them, smiled, and was extremely gracious about all the picture taking that went on...and on... Honestly, we tried not to monopolize him, but we couldn't let that opportunity go by, could we?

It was fun, but tiring. All the chefs and their people were very nice and very grateful to have help hauling their stuff into the venue. Some of them were amazed that they had unloading assistance period, and it was kinda funny to see their reactions when 3 or 4 of us with carts would mob their vehicles when they drove up to the door.

In class today (whew! I'm back to reality now.), we did braising. We made a Yankee Pot Roast, Chicken Fricassee, a Veal Blanquette (veal in a white cream sauce with mushrooms and peal onions--yum!), Swiss steak, and a brown beef stew. The Chicken Fricassee was the hands down winner of favorite food item today, followed by the Veal Blanquette. The fric is on our practical, so I'm going to try and practice it this weekend and see if I can make a passable example.

Chef did take me aside and paid me a nice compliment about having a good positive attitude and that would take me far in this business...this was after he offered to remove my injured eye for me...such a caring man, our Chef. I think he really likes the fact that when he makes an golden oldie pop culture reference that I'm the one that always gets the joke. Validation of humor is a good thing, yes?

Oh, and we also had our mid-term today. I'm feeling pretty good about it, and not too worried about my grade on it, unless that bump on my head really did scramble my brains. My eye does look better today, and I didn't even get a black eye...which would have looked really good in that picture with Wolfgang, don't you think? Goes right along with that eyepatch = sex goddess thing.

A Pirate's Life for me

Eyepatch = Sex Goddess

From the files of "Just How Clumsy CAN She Be," we have this little gem. Today for Dining Room, we met at the main Fine Technical College campus for a job fair. Not a lot of culinary stuff there, but it was something a little different. We go back to our campus to see a demo of the tableside cooking that we'll be doing in the coming weeks. Me and a couple of class mates were in the Cafe, and I was going to go and put my hair up in its pathetic little ponytail...someday, I'm going to write a children's book about the saddest, tiniest ponytail for all those girls out there with thin, baby fine hair. I get my little makeup bag out of my book bag and promptly drop it on the floor. I bent over to pick it up, and WHAM! I hit the corner of my eye on the edge of one of the dining room chairs. The pointy edge, I might add.

**** Here's where I insert the "not for the squeamish warning", even though it really wasn't that bad, but sometimes people squee out when it comes to eyes and blood. : )

*^#^&$%!!, I said, and realized that I was seeing red, literally. Not good. The other two chicks in class grab me and drag me to the bathroom so we can inspect the damage. It was looking pretty gross at first, but it finally stopped bleeding, and we slapped an ice pack on it to try and control the swelling. Chef offered to cut it out for me, but I assured him that kind of plastic surgery would not be necessary. Sheesh...do I ever feel like a dumbass? And my eye still hurts, to boot. Ah well, The Man always says I'm the kind of girl who could pull off an eye patch.

On to the tableside...

The good news is that we don't have to do the actual tableside cooking for at least the first week (NEXT WEEK!!!!) and possibly the second week; two of the chefs are going to be doing the actual cooking, thank heavens! Chef demoed the fresh guacamole we would be serving, a classical Caesar salad with the egg yolks (pasteurized of course) and anchovy in the dressing, Steak Diane, Soft Shell Crab Menuiere, and Strawberries Romanoff. Pretty fancy high-faultin' stuff, ain't it?

I was really looking forward to tasting some of this and so was the rest of the class. Alas, we were thwarted by a prospective student and her father who were touring the campus. They walked by the cafe with the campus tour guide and saw we were setting up for a demo and asked if they could watch. Of course they can, and wouldn't they be great guinea pigs to practice service on? Snort. They really were excited about this opportunity and quite enjoyed it, so it was really hard to hate them. We all told her that she really should enjoy it now, because she wouldn't get to eat like this in class for a loooooong time.

During the demo, Chef talks about the history of some of the food...the Caesar salad was made famous and named after a restaurant owner, Caesar Cardini, who invented it in Tijuana, Mexico in 1924. Someone asked about the "Diane" in Steak Diane, and he said it was in honor of Diana Rigg...the rest of the class sort of looked around with the "Diana who?" look. He looks at me, because he knows I'm the queen of pop culture and let's face it, the oldest one in the class, and I pipe up with "The Avengers?! Emma Peel? Catsuit?" ...crickets... He just shakes his head and goes on.

According to jamesbeard.org, "a mere 40 years ago, Steak Diane was the height of fashion in grand dining rooms across America. The highpoint of the meal came when a waiter in jacket and bowtie flamed a diner’s sirloin tableside before his very eyes! There are a number of variations on Steak Diane, but most call for butter, shallots, mustard, cream, Worcestershire, brandy, and a match. The dish is said to be named for Diane, the Roman Goddess of hunting; many game dishes also use her name. The origins of Steak Diane are shrouded in mystery. Food experts place its creation variously in Australia, Brazil, or New York. Those in the last camp argue that Steak Diane evolved from steak au poivre in the 1950s, a period in American culinary history when waiters loved to play with fire."

And, who doesn't love to play with fire? Especially when you can take a mere mediocre $19.95 dinner and jack it up to $29.95 or even $39.95 by adding a little "cook before your eyes" magic. Heck, I'm flaming everything from now on! Macaroni & Cheese Flambe, anyone? Oreos Diane? Cheerios Jubilee?

"The roof! The roof! The roof is on FIRE! We don't need no Bananas Foster, let the motherf*cker burn!" (with apologies to Rockmaster Scott And The Dynamic Three)

Poached Fish for breakfast, anyone? Anyone?

Bueller? Bueller? I think the title of this post pretty much sums it up, don't you?

I'm not usually an "only breakfast food for breakfast" kinda gal--one of my absolute fave breakfast foods is leftover spaghetti, which always tastes better the next day, in my opinion--but today's class was kinda rough on the ol' palate. We did moist heat cooking (sounds appetizing, doesn't it? "moist heat"...ugh) with poaching, steaming, and simmering (that sounds much better in these terms). We started off by making salmon mousseline (fish mush in laypeople's terms!) and spreading on fish fillets and rolling them up to be poached.

Now, I know that the world loves salmon, and I like it too, but only in specific forms. Very specific forms. Like raw and smoked. Don't squee out on me just yet...raw salmon sushi is a great beginner sushi, because it has such a buttery texture and mild flavor. Somehow, the cooking process manages to take all that is good out of the salmon and send it to Neverneverland or some other place other than on my taste buds. I'm weird, I know, and you should know THAT by now, too.

Anyway, poached salmon at 8 am can be trying for most folks, but I soldiered on. It was much better when he put this cream sauce on top of the poached fish stuffed with salmon. I am a most firm believer that anything can be made better by the addition of cream and/or butter. Especially butter.

We also did a tagine of cod; at least I think it was cod...could have been red snapper. The tagine was pretty cool...it's a Morrocan clay cooker that looks kinda like a fez...if you squint really heard. The one in the picture is a Le Creuset tagine, and I think I shall put that on my Christmas list. I do need a complete set, don't I?


When we cooked with the tagine, Chef placed a bed of onions on the bottom. He added some marinaded fish filets and topped those with artichoke hearts and some diced tomatoes. He may have added a few more things, but those were the main ingredients. He added a little fish stock, covered it with the lid and popped it in the oven to steam away. It was pretty tasty for fish first thing in the morning. I think I might have been better with the whole fish for breakfast thing if we'd deep-fried some of those puppies. All hail the fish and chips!

Next, he did some fish "en papillote" or encased in parchment paper. This was my favorite dish of the day. He blanched some carrots and potatoes and then cut some large paper hearts out of parchment paper to make the "papillote" part. You butter your parchment and put down a layer of potatoes, a fish fillet (I think we used snapper), some of the blanched julienned carrots, some thinly sliced tomatoes and cucumbers...I know, I thought the cuke thing was weird, too, but it worked. Seal that up in the paper and let it steam in the oven. It was pretty, it tasted good, and the cucumbers were still crisp....go figure.

We also reviewed for the mid-term next week or is it Wednesday? Guess I'd better re-check my notes, don't ya think? He gave us our last two tests back...one of which I flubbed because I could not for the life of me remember that "fond" is also "stock" and not just those browned nummy bits on the bottom of the pan. Why I couldn't remember that, I haven't a clue. It's like the brain erased it, and no amount of control-Z could undo it and get it back.

In Dining Room today, we discussed menu design and layout, because we are going to have to design a menu for each week of service, which STARTS NEXT MONDAY. No, not stressed about that at all, am I? No, not at all...